What Happened??

There are many days in my job that are really difficult. These may include working with difficult and hostile clients or children that have been severely injured, among other things.

But one thing that is a struggle for me on a regular basis is not knowing for sure, one way or the other, whether an incident actually occurred.

There are the parents telling one version of the story....

Family, friends and other collaterals telling another version of the story.....

And other professionals such as law enforcement, medical staff and mental health professionals providing yet another piece of the puzzle.

I am a very black and white, right or wrong kind of person so I find it difficult and frustrating when I can't make an incident finding fit into one of two categories--REASON TO BELIEVE or RULED OUT. Reason to believe (RTB) means that more than likely the incident occurred. Ruled out (RO) means we can conclude that more than likely the incident did not occur.

It's a simple concept. One would think. But it can become quite difficult to pinpoint fishy details, especially when there is a lack of physical evidence and all one has to go by is what people are saying happened.

I despise not knowing for sure about an incident for my own reasons but more than that-child safety becomes a huge concern. If I can not say comfortably whether abuse or neglect has occurred, the children I am responsible for are at a greater risk and that is terrifying. It is a heavy burden to bear, for sure but don't get me wrong-I do love my job. I feel like most days more good is done than harm and I try my damnedest to ensure children are safe. I also pray to whatever god there is to protect these children when and if I am unable. That is the best I can do and it will have to be enough.

What's new with you?

Well, it's been a while since I've written. I get so busy with my crazy life and this is the first thing that I drop when I need a break!

Since my last post (which I can't even remember at this time) I have started graduate school. I am working toward my Master's Degree in Counseling and getting my LPC. Once I am done with my Master's I plan to pursue my PhD.

Cray cray, right?

But I just feel like there is so much more to learn and I am in my prime-no babies which are the biggest plan breaker-so I know this is my time to DO IT!

I have also been working as an investigator for Child Protective Services for almost a year now. It has been terrifying at times, horribly sad at others but extremely interesting every single day. I have seen the filthiest, most deplorable living conditions as well as severe abuse and vindictive family and friends filing false report after false report. Cases run the gamut of abuse, neglect, family dynamic and home conditions but are sometimes completely false.

Although this job can be extremely exhausting, trying and emotionally taxing, I feel fulfilled and challenged every day. There is excitement, drugs, and the opportunity to solve mysteries! I may sound morbid but I LOVE my job! How lucky am I?!

Anyway, other than grad school and work keeping me busy, my husband, my boys and my dogs take up the rest of my time! The boys are growing like weeds! They are not little boys anymore and that is crazy to me. Where has the time gone? My hubby is now a deputy in our county which is great. We get to cross paths fairly regularly with our jobs and that makes me all kinds of happy. He's my love so any chance to interact with him makes me elated. I am also proud of him for the job he does; it is dangerous and scary with terrible pay but he is so good at it. There isn't much better than being able to truly respect your husband.

Alright I think that is all for now. I will try to post soon.

Things to look forward to:
5k run on Saturday
Spending time with my BFF and her lovely baby Friday and Saturday
Having Saturday night all to myself